Before you love a woman…
claim you understand her,
or say “I know how women are”…
you must first learn how to see her.

So, my son…
Let me have your ears
and your heart now.

Because a woman like her…
is like no other
you have known.

She is layered.
And exciting.
And those layers
are the ones you admire,
the ones you don’t yet understand
that do not open
for a man
who only brings “vibes.”

Let me tell you why.
~ ~ ~
I paused reading the email,
and looked at him.

He was stiff
as a Masai bamboo.

My nephew – all ears,
listening to me read
email I kept from
his auntie,
now deceased.

I continued reading…
~~~
I am your mama,
as custom dictates,
because I am
your mother’s sister.

I raised you,
after she died,
leaving you and your sister
under my care.

I watched you grow.
Recite the verses,
and sing the hymns.
I taught you how to stand tall
when elders were watching,
with no hands in your pockets
when speaking with them.

But like many young men, today,
your morality is louder on Sunday
than it is on Monday.

You are good…
but not consistent.
Faithful… but not disciplined.
Kind… but not always intentional.

And now, my son,
you are entering a season
where your choices
will shape you.
Love, responsibility,
faith, discipline…
these things are not small.
They demand intention.
They demand honesty with yourself.

Your wife-to-be,
on the other hand,
lived her values quietly.
Without show.
Nor performance.
Just a steady,
gentle integrity
that followed her
everywhere she went.

You fell in love.
You wanted intimacy before marriage.
She declined.
You went berserk.
But you held on,
placing your faith
ahead of what is acceptable today.

I applaud you for that.
But listen to me now,
because this is where
boys become men.

Love is not sustained by lust.
It is sustained by discipline.
And a woman like her
does not give her heart
to a man who cannot
control his own heart.

So before
you call her “mine,”
you must learn
the first law of love…

How to see her.
And this is where it
all begins.

~~~
I paused.
Our eyes locked…
as he digested
his auntie’s words
he had just heard.

His eyes wet
with emotion.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

To be continued (1/3)

Author Bio
Dr. Ivan Edwards is a man who is comfortable wearing a few hats in life. A polymath, he is an ordained non-denominational minister, a medical doctor, a USAF flight surgeon (at the rank of Colonel), an entrepreneur and CEO, and a writer-poet.

His work explores healing, restoration, resilience, identity, and the strength of the human spirit shaped by faith.

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